Thanks to everyone who emailed me (I use Becker’s email beckerdrane@gmail.com because my email is top secret), about Pig Latin and Obenglobish. Most people in the world don’t use these languages except some kids, but if you know them, then you can talk to your friends and stuff and no one else will know what you’re saying.

Here’s how to do it:

How to Speak Obenglobish

Steps
1. Take the word you want to change into Obenglobish.
2. Add "ob" before every vowel.

Tips
1. Don't add "ob" to vowels you don't pronounce (i.e. bake, stare).
2. Pronounce the actual word the same way. For instance, control. You would say the vowels the same way, just add ob.
3. When you are saying "Obenglobish" ("I speak Obenglobish") in Obenglobish, don't make it Obobobenglobobobish, just keep it to Obenglobish.
Don't worry, it's hard at first, but you get better with practice.

How to Speak Pig Latin (I stole this all from the web)

This pseudo-language is widely known and used by English-speaking people, especially when they want to disguise something they are saying from non-Pig Latin speakers. It was first created in WWII when soldiers wanted to communicate to each other without eavesdropping Soviets understanding them.

Steps

Words that begin with a consonant

1 Transfer preceding consonant(s) from the word to at the end. Add "-ay" to the end of the word.

◦ Pig Latin = igPay atinLay
◦ Paint the fence white = aintPay ethay encefay itewhay
◦ Don't slump = on'tDay umpslay
◦ My dog = yMay (pronounced eye-may) ogday

Words that begin with a vowel and are one-syllabled

1 Add "-way" to the end of the word that start with a vowel, and leave the first letter in front.

◦ it = itway
◦ arm = armway
◦ egg = eggway

Others

1 Multi-syllabic words that start with vowels often are the same as words that start with a consonant.

◦ isthmus = isthmusway
◦ ingenious - sngeniouiway
◦ archery = yrcheraway
◦ ending = endingay
◦ ultimate = ultimateway

2 Compound words work better when you split them into separate words.

◦ bedroom = edbay oomray
◦ toothbrush = oothtay ushbray
◦ wallpaper = allway aperpay
◦ bathtub = athbay ubtay
◦ hi = ihay
◦ i rock = iway ockray
◦ soccer = occersay

More Examples

• I am speaking Pig Latin! = Iway amway eakingspay igpay atinLay!
• Can anyone hear me? = Ancay anyoneway earhay emay?
• I have a secret = Iway avehay a-way ecretsay.
• The guy next to me has toilet paper stuck to his shoe = Ethay uygay extnay otay emay ashay oilettay aperpay uckstay otay ishay oeshay.
• Are these really all the rules? There may be some missing. = Areway esethay eallyray allway ethay ulesray? Erethay aymay ebay omesay issingmay.
• Has anybody seen my washboard? = Ashay anyay odbay eensay ymay ashway ordbay?
• hi people! whats up? = ihay eoplepay hatsway upway?
• I love you= Iway ovelay ouyay
• new england patriots rock = ewnay englanday atriotspay ockray
• Pig Latin is really easy to speak and understand once you get the hang of it!- igpay atinlay isay eallyray easyway ootay eakspay andway understanday onceway ouyay etgay hetay anghay ofway itway!
• You= ouyay
• Hello= ollehyay
• Yes=esyay

Sorry for how long that was. I just got out of control...

Benjamin

My family is pretty cool. On a scale of 1 to 85, I give them a 74.6. That’s mostly because Becker beat me up and tried to put me in the clothes dryer in 2006.

My Mom is psychologist, which means she helps people. And my Dad is a Professor, which means he’s a professional Essor. I don’t know what an Essor is exactly, but I think it has something to do with Amish people. But I know my Dad works at Rutgers and teaches math to college people. He even worked for NASA once, helping them crack codes. But that’s confidential. I don’t have any sisters or younger people than me in my family, except my hamster, Chocolate. He’s only three, but in hamster years that’s 75, so I guess he’s the oldest person in my family, except for Great Grandpa Ferdie. He’s 92.

Anyway, I could tell you more – especially about the Drane’s of New England. They’re really weird and can’t say the letter “r” but that’s a story for another day.

The end,

By Benjamin

When I grow up I want to be a kid. Being a grown up is a lot of work. I watch how much work my parents have to do just to take care of me. And I am a pain in the tuchus. Tuchus is Yiddish for butt which is short for buttocks which is French for derrier which is what you sit on when you sit in a chair.

When I grow up I also want to be kid because grown ups have to go to work. Work sucks. When my Dad comes home his brain is fried like mine when I watch too much TV or play “Juvenile Delinquent.”

Also, it’s really hard to fit in the tubes in the jungle gym thing in Donaldson Park in my town if you’re a grown up. Grown ups can’t fit in anything good, so why would you want to grow up?

I guess there’s some good stuff. You get to go to R rated movies and stay up past 7:30pm. But I’m still not sure it’s worth it.

The end,

By Benjamin.

My favorite color is green. Green comes in lots of greens. There is Emerald Green, Hunter Green, Office Green, Kelly Green, Asparagus Green, and Jade.
If you ask me why green is my favorite color, I can’t tell you. Just like I can’t tell you why yogurt is gross (in my opinion) and chocolate chip mint is good. Especially when it’s green!

White chocolate chip mint is good too.

My other favorite ice cream is Butter Pecan and Rocky Road and Deer Tracks. They are good because they mix lots of things inside lots of other things. Like nuts in chocolate and chocolate in nuts and vanilla in chocolate nuts.

I don’t really know why green makes me happier than blue or red, but it does. What’s your favorite color?

The end,

By Benjamin.

DEAR EVERYONE:

As some of you may have noticed, my brother (Ferdinand Becker Drane III), has been failing miserably in his pledge to keep up this blog. While some people look at him as a hero, I see him for the messy-roomed, angst-ridden, little-brother-bad-treating, Highland Pizza-zeppole-stealing tweenager that he is.

For those of you who know the history of the so-called "BeckerBlog", you may recall that I took it over once before and was reprimanded harshly. But now, since my brother is apparently too cool to blog, I am taking over until a) he notices b) he beats me or c) all of the above.

BenjaminBlog will be an improved version of BeckerBlog, just like I am an improved version of Becker.

Looking forward to being your new favorite son (at least for a little while.)

Benjamin Drane I