Michael L. Wexler was born on tax day (April 15), 1970 and thus, was written off from a very young age.

Defying all odds, he thrived in the middle class suburbia of Highland Park, NJ, though always longing for the bucolic, potato-growing paradise which Kendall (see below), ironically, seemed to shun.

With a dearth of plaid and a brooklyn fade haircut, Wexler arrived at Princeton University in the Fall of 1989 and quickly met all the right people -- ensuring quality vacation houses and good conversation to this very day.

When seeking fame and fortune as a means to achieve happiness proved a macguffin, Wexler resorted to dreaming up fantasy worlds inside of which to contextualize his own suffering -- and has been residing there ever since.

Though family members have often pleaded with him to return to the "real world," and a guest appearance on the TV show "Intervention" has not been ruled out, Wexler seems to have cobbled together a patchwork cosmology which has kept him out of the big house, and in fairly good physical condition.

Mike or Michael -- either way is fine -- has no real personal life but a few solid hobbies including, but not limited to chess, poker, Tumulty's, tennis, sitting in the sun, songwriting, and talking to his father on the phone.