My family is pretty cool. On a scale of 1 to 85, I give them a 74.6. That’s mostly because Becker beat me up and tried to put me in the clothes dryer in 2006.

My Mom is psychologist, which means she helps people. And my Dad is a Professor, which means he’s a professional Essor. I don’t know what an Essor is exactly, but I think it has something to do with Amish people. But I know my Dad works at Rutgers and teaches math to college people. He even worked for NASA once, helping them crack codes. But that’s confidential. I don’t have any sisters or younger people than me in my family, except my hamster, Chocolate. He’s only three, but in hamster years that’s 75, so I guess he’s the oldest person in my family, except for Great Grandpa Ferdie. He’s 92.

Anyway, I could tell you more – especially about the Drane’s of New England. They’re really weird and can’t say the letter “r” but that’s a story for another day.

The end,

By Benjamin